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Monday, September 03, 2007 

Graduation

For most adult authorities, the time of year has come where they begin their nomination processes and look to award the superlative performers and performances of the past year.

Having been a part of such selection committees in the past, what better time to give my expert opinion on such matters but in a way that offers a bit more explanation and validation than a simple list.



What follows is the most recognizable and common periodic measure of one's performance: report cards. I've selected who I have determined to be fans' favorites of 2007 and applied the typical grading scale. The grades themselves weren't used to decide their rank or placement; their presumed popularity with the casual viewer was the basis for that.

Also, while this list isn't a personal top ten list (as in, I'm not personally a fan of everyone who made the cut), the assessments are all my own.

So who made the grade and who needs Summer School?

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1. Bree Olson



Before the recent Adam & Eve contract, Bree Olson (Big Wet Asses 10) was the name (and a few other choice body parts) on everyone's lips. Blonde, blasphemous and anything but bland, Bree'll be sorely missed amongst the gonzo ranks. I've been singing her praises endlessly and incessantly since first laying eyes on her and Olson's likely a shoe-in for Female Starlet of the Year in January. In the meantime, you will soon be able to catch her alongside Carmen Luvana and Ava Rose in Eden, A&E's shot-on-location in Hawaii, big-budget feature that will be seeing a lot of press (and awards) before year's end.

1. Ability: A-
2. Looks: A
3. Activity: A
4. Diversity: B
5. Influence: C


1. Brianna Love


I gave both Ivan's Sweet Cheeks 8 and Sam No's Massive Asses five-star reviews. The common thread? Talented direction and Miss Brianna Love.

Don't call it a comeback! Her Shane's World title sums up Love's entire performance year: Brianna Love Comes of Age. With the help of some high profile appearances in a few Elegant Angel productions (her work in Big Wet Asses 11, It's a Daddy Thing 3 and Blow It Out Your Ass 2 have all but erased the memory of former Elegant Angel stalwart and now-contract performer with Nasty Dollars.com, Flower Tucci), Brianna's returned with an ass that's bigger and better than ever. It really has been her year. First, she's been tapped to be in John Leslie's Brianna Love: Her Fine Sexy Self feature. And in the ever-capable hands of William H. and "Sam No", Brianna Love is Buttwoman should be THE magnum opus befitting a performer of her looks and caliber's re-emergence.

1. Ability: B
2. Looks: B+
3. Activity: B
4. Diversity: A-
5. Influence: B-


3. Jenna Haze



Still riding a crest of momentum largely built on her return to b/g (due to the dissolution of Jill Kelly Productions, where she was an exclusive g/g-only performer) and the wildly popular, critically-acclaimed Jenna Haze Darkside, Haze is still going strong and even managed a mainstream appearance in "Superbad" (alongside Aurora Snow; Jules Jordan fans, how fitting is that?) as one of the Vagtastic Voyage girls. Still, there have only been a few notable perfs in '07: Evil Anal 2, Crack Addict 6, A-List 2, Internal Cumbustion 10 and another title featuring her as the sole performer, Interactive Sex with Jenna Haze.

1. Ability: A
2. Looks: B
3. Activity: C
4. Diversity: B-
5. Influence: B


4. Annette Schwarz



It should come as no surprise that a woman who goes by the nickname "Circus Pferdchen", with her dreamy and perpetually half-parted eyelids and kewpie doll-ish good looks, is as unrepentently slutty as she is. Take into account her origins. This native German came into the game the old-fashioned way; literally baptized into the business in Europe in John Thompson's infamous GGG movies. Since then, the "circus" has been stateside now for about two years. In '07, Schwarz blessed us with perhaps THE Performance of the YEAR in William H's Big Wet Asses 11 with Manuel Ferrara. The powers-that-be at Elegant Angel must have been similarly impressed; they crowned Annette their new Slutwoman shortly thereafter. Directed by a newly-rejuvenated and recently re-invigorated Mason, it streets on September 25th.

1. Ability: A+
2. Looks: B-
3. Activity: B
4. Diversity: A+
5. Influence: A


5. Rebeca Linares



They simply don't come much sexier than Spanish-born Rebeca Linares. Like most stars from other countries, she got her start doing movies in her homeland, getting her first break by being friends with someone who was friends with Evil Angel director/performer and Belladonna's ex-fiance, the notorious Nacho Vidal. Eventually, it only made sense to come to where the industry lives and thrives, so Rebeca made the inevitable move to the City of Angels permanently. In a recent AVN interview Rebeca revealed that her family knows about her career and that her mother is a Sandra Romain fan. It just struck me as weird because I don't think I'd want to know what performers my parents preferred... Easily spotted by the tan-lined heart on her right butt cheek, Linares made waves this year in Manhandled 2, Blow It Out Your Ass, Gaped Crusaders 2 and Iodine Girl.

1. Ability: A
2. Looks: B
3. Activity: A+
4. Diversity: A+
5. Influence: B


6. Gianna


Gianna's Big Pretty Titties are worthy of Titty Worship.

It's starting to look like measure of one's individual performing success is to be such a standout talent that a director wants to center an entire movie around you and only you. Brianna Love has hers now. Jenna Haze's boyfriend made sure she got hers. But I wonder if either will match the excitement I felt when I saw that one of the best shooters in the game today, Jonni Darkko, had hand-picked my personal favorite porn star, Gianna, to headline his G For Gianna. Able to get by on her great enthusiasm, aggressive nature during her scenes and her fabulous rack, it won't be long before fans start demanding Gianna open her backdoor for business (an act she has yet to allow) to remain popular.

1. Ability: A
2. Looks: A
3. Activity: B-
4. Diversity: B-
5. Influence: B-


7. Sasha Grey



Having one's first on-screen sex in the sequel to legendary director John Stagliano's award-winning Fashionistas would be an unbelievably daunting task for most. But not for then-18-year old "existentialist" Sasha Grey, who was selected personally by Stagliano's wife, Karen (former AVN-Award winning performer Tricia Devereaux). Grey didn't disappoint then and hasn't since, going on to win XRCO's Best New Starlet and two AVN Awards, including one for her participation in a marathon orgy scene in the aforementioned Fashionistas Safado: The Challenge.. The self-proclaimed "Fuck Junkie", fan of French New Wave and Italian Neo-Realism movies set out to change the world's perception of the industry, find herself sexually and has articulately defended her decadence on The Tyra Banks Show and The Insider. Much has been made of her but I figure anyone who's a fan of Jeanna Fine can't be all bad. The world eagerly awaits the as-yet still unreleased The Awakening of Sasha Grey, a film that promises to contain all the extreme, hardcore sex Grey favors, lensed by Sasha's idol, friend and mentor, Belladonna.

1. Ability: B+
2. Looks: B+
3. Activity: C+
4. Diversity: A
5. Influence: A


8. Belladonna



If you don't already know the past seven years of the legendary Bella's resume, gladly return to the rock you crawled from under. You should know the story already...the baseball bat, Nacho, the Primetime interview and then after many years of filthy, frivolous and unbashed whoring, marriage and directing/performing while pregnant in her own g/g-only movies...yadda, yadda, yadda. Sadly, after a recent scare, Belladonna "retired" from performing. Well, at least she will...right after she's finished filming The New Devil in Miss Jones 2 for Vivid and her own "psychotic-thriller" feature that has, according to her, been in the conceptual stages for at least three years. She will, of course, also continue to direct her Deadly Nightshade productions to be distributed exclusively through Evil Angel.

1. Ability: A+
2. Looks: B
3. Activity: D
4. Diversity: A
5. Influence: A+


9. Eva Angelina



I'm generally not one for girls bucking to land themselves a contract but I consider it a grave injustice that someone has not yet gone to great lengths to lock up Eva Angelina's services since reinventing herself a few years ago with breast augmentation surgery. While she may not do everything under the sun sexually, Eva's a Chinese-Cuban stunner who still manages to turn in very spirited performances time and time again despite her limited on-camera repertoire; she's a talent that's hard to not get behind, figuratively and literally. The highly photogenic O.C. gal engaged in a few anal forays in '07 but only for members of her website.

1. Ability: B-
2. Looks: A
3. Activity: C
4. Diversity: C+
5. Influence: C


10. Alexis Texas



Look up there at all that. Buttworx. Massive Asses. Sweet Cheeks 8. Whatabooty 2. Apple Bottom Snow Bunnies. Big Butt Teaze. Guessed Alexis' best ASSet yet? Charlotte Stokely, eat your heart out. With a relatively threadbare resume (under some 30 scenes in a little under a year, though, a glut of her scenes seem to all be streeting at once, prompting talk of OVERexposure already), Alexis Texas has still managed to become a hugely popular starlet in her own right and is as in-demand as ever. Maybe barely working has its own set of benefits. With a bumper like hers, it's difficult to not keep coming back and still wanting more.

1. Ability: C
2. Looks: B
3. Activity: C
4. Diversity: C
5. Influence: C-

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1. Ability (workrate)
2. Looks (self-explanatory)
3. Activity (how often they worked)
4. Diversity (variety of work done)
5. Influence (the ability through their performances to affect others or somehow change previous industry-related norms)